A long anticipated operation will happen tomorrow. I will first have a Mohs surgery, where my dermatologist will remove BCC from my eyelid and then the reconstruction will happen on Tuesday, May 24th. If I was to be entirely honest, I must say that I was expecting to be much more anxious on this day, day before a surgery. But, surprisingly, I feel rather calm, grounded, feeling I have come to terms with myself and fully accepted everything that is about to happen. But even a step further, I can visualise myself happy and satisfied afterwards, enjoying again in all of the activities that I usually do. In a way it is funny how the things that scares as the most and at some point we wee them as the end of the world, slowly becoming acceptable, bearable and kind of normal. It wakes up my curiosity to understand the process of it, of how one impression of the situation can become completely different. It gives hope that the same thing can be applied to all of the other things that are sucking fear into our lives.
I also feel an urge to shoutout to everyone else, the same that I feel now. Don't force positivity into your life. Accept the bad and feel the fear and pain and hopelessness. But then, try to be rational, reflect and pay attention to the whole situation objectively. What are the good things that are present in your life in the moment? How much support you have in the moment? What can you do with your problem? And then just breathe, get up and fight with it. It's a wonderful and scary and messed up world we are living in. There is so much darkness and so much light. The same old fight between good and evil. If you ask me, the light prevails.