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What if?

Isn't it a scary thought knowing that we are consciously destroying present moment (which is perfect by itself), worrying about something that "could" maybe happen in a close or a distant future? Even, if by some chance, our worst case scenario happen to be true, even then, can't we dwell in our happy present moment, and why is it so? I am so bothered with this thought, obviously because it is something that is a huge part of my anxiety disorder. It has a name and it is called "catastrophic thinking". It is a very tiring and very persistent form of anxiety that drains all the life out of you. In my case, it was related to a medical problem that I am experiencing and that I will be experiencing my whole life (even though it is not life threatening but still requires attention). I will try to tell you what it is in some of my next blogs, for now let's just call it "Black". In any case, if you ever experienced anxiety, catastrophising is probably familiar to you.


Being humans, we should be aware of the fact that we are the only living beings on Earth with a capacity to think, imagine, create happy or sad thoughts. The only ones to be able to actually imagine good or bad scenario for ourselves. Are we cursed or blessed? The way I see it, it's all in our own hands and we do have a power to control it. We might not be here tomorrow, and this is the thought we should become more familiar with. This gave me a feeling of a fragility of a moment in which I am living and thus appreciating it more.


I want to share with you couple of things that stopped me imagining the worst case scenario:


  1. Share it with a friend. Sometimes the objectivity that we can get will clear out the situation and give you some light.

  2. Start cleaning, start writing, start running, just don't dwell on what might happen in future.

  3. Give limited time to your catastrophising and stick to it. Say 30 minutes daily and no more.

  4. Stay in the moment, try to connect yourself with something simple as making eggs or a cup of tea.

  5. Start idealizing your future. Start imagining yourself in a better place. Use your human superpowers.

What if, really, at the end, everything turns out to be good?




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In some of my previous posts I mentioned that I hope I will be able to speak about my Black thing that is haunting me. I guess the time has come to share it. I have a skin cancer that is called basoce